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I DON’T WISH TO BE GOD!

 I DON’T WISH TO BE GOD!

He spat the above words like they were a fire in his mouth, hoping to find peace afterwards. Unfortunately, the cries, complaints, demands, declarations; all in different languages, from diverse places, in many corners, from so many places of worship, by different age grades; kept tearing his eardrums. He was approaching insanity. 


On the 20th of September 2021, my friend was still in search of that dream job, that ideal wife, that gigantic mansion, that visa, that latest car but all seemed to hate his gut. Life had not been sunny with him but the hope was never quenched, even after losing a job opportunity all because of his state of origin as revealed by the interviewer. My guy kept the faith; attended all vigils heard of, googled all prayer points relating to breakthrough, fasted till his ribs shouted out aloud and sent out his CV to as many firms as possible. But…


Mary-Amaka as she was called did not want to receive his calls anymore so she gave him the final warning - If you call me again, I will have my army Zazzy pick you up and trust me, you will never see the light of day or is it by force to love? It was after this threat that Chale blurted out “I wish I was God!!!” Omo! The earth under his feet shook and simultaneously clouds gathered around his head dropping blue flames that did not burn. He was too afraid to move at first until he could hear the cries of newborns, the wailing of their mothers in labour, the doctors’ and nurses’ prayers, families crying for the passing of their loved ones, the earthquake in Europe, the man being robbed in his home and his friend praying to have Mary-Amaka all to himself. My guy thought he was watching Netflix in his sleep and tried so much to wake up. He even prayed for the subscription to expire and ran with every strength in him into his cubicle for safety.


Two days passed without him showing his face in the open. At this point, he had become tired of everything seen and heard. All he wanted back was his wretched sanity. His friend Tinos visited him after calling for days without any response. The Chale he found was worse than the Chale he knew. The guy was stretched out naked on his room floor groaning for help.

“Chale wetin dey happen na, who do you like this? If madness add to your matter na e be tinz o! Your people from the villa don succeed be that. Abeg talk to me wetin do you!!”


Tinos thought the best place to take his friend was to the celestial church down the road. He had heard that they cast out demons especially at midnight, with brooms and coconut water and plenty of dancing. This church received Chale with open arms because clientele had reduced since the hit of inflation. He was there for seven days and let me tell you, the ribs that were shouting previously are now crying. They are crying for being betrayed with 10,000 given to the Woli. They are wailing for every stripe battered on them. As for Chale’s head, if you can picture a defeated piñata, you should be able to comprehend Chale’s condition. If anyone calls you coconut head, please give the championship to Chale.

When Tinos visited the church 7 days later, he was sure the Police would come for him but that was better than a dead man in his conscience. So immediately, he takes Chale to hospital and awaits his arrest. 


Where we are from, madness is commonly cured in religious houses, by flogging. Although in Chale’s case, I don’t know if it was the work done by the church or hospital that is bringing him back to his senses as I heard recently that he can now recognize human faces. As for Tinos, this is his last night in cell block B after 3 months. He has sworn never to set his eyes on Chale while Chale prays for him every day for saving his life. We hope Chale fully recovers thanks to the bills covered by Mary-Amaka and her Zazzy who are using Chale as their first NGO. If you say Chale how far just be prepared for the “I don’t want to be God” response. The end of this narrative is not known but my brothers and sisters, neither do I want to be God!

Comments

  1. Unknown19 January 2022 at 04:16

    "If Men were God", i wonder what the world will look like

    ReplyDelete

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