TYPES OF CORONA VIRUS

Her voice jarred in my ears like an un-snooze-able alarm as she narrated to her colleagues how her sex partner could not satisfy her the previous night. 

I stood at the bus stop that day for over an hour waiting to get a bus. It had not been easy for car-less residents of Lagos since the Okada and Keke ban. You either struggled or wobbled to get yourself home. I was usually part of the wobblers. 

That day had a vibe on its own that could send the devil himself to hell unwillingly. The sun refused to set way after past 6, the air was at attention, and car owners were very unfriendly... would you blame them?

When this bus rolled up in front of me, I felt like Angelina Jolie in the Tourist, all I did was stroll in effortlessly. Yes, there are still some of us who think life is that easy. A group of 3 ladies and 3 men followed suit and we all started with this journey that would lead to another, in that Korope (mini bus). There would be wild thoughts and great realizations about who we have become as a people...

“Babes, una know say na waste of time just be that guy! Na only paka paka pesin just dey hear and before I fit say wehn! This guy don close shop. E sleep for there like dead horse na im even vex me pass. E no even fit last for 2 minutes! Chai the thing pain me reach my spirit. E don dey make mouth since e manage buy me one bottle of beer say im go finish me dat night. Me sef I be mumu. I fall for the tin jeans and hair wen full im face. You go see them with bia bia like say them get money, dem no get shi shi. Instead of cash na comb dey sabi dey their pocket. Omo, I don tire for bad market. E just be say I learn with fufu no be with pizza. Make una wizen up o, no go dull like me with all these yeye broke boys. Na men we need for our life abeg!”

This lingered for another 5 minutes with her colleagues chipping in here and there about their own experiences. The men on the bus were silent. The driver turned down his radio. As shocked and ashamed as we all were, we were all ears.

“But seriously babes. This my life na im my small sister want to dey copy sha. I mean she is just 14 and she don get boyfriends. The one wey dey pain me pass be say she don join MARLIANS. Na dem dey feel say dem fit behave any how. D way dem dey dress sef dey vex me… You dey hear something?” 

And then one of her colleagues asked: “ you no fit beat her make her brain set well? Which kind nonsense be that? Abi na because she don tall pass you? But you no soft like this with una second born na wetin you con dey leave this one for?

And then she answered: “ no be so... na because I no dey sleep for house again na im make and I no wan worry my papa with all this nonsense. You know say girls gat to hustle na. But no worry, I go treat her f**k up soon. The only good thing be say she still dey do well for school. I hear say she go soon be head girl. Na her only saving grace be that. My sister must finish school and go uni sef...”

We had not noticed the traffic all the while inside the korope. We were listening, judging in that little moving courtroom, with culprits who were past feeling guilty. They did not even care if they were sentenced to death in our thoughts. Maybe that was why we judged silently… Who cared anymore? Nothing wow is under the sun not so? 

She received a phone call and got a confirmation for a hangout by 7 pm. She informed the others to go prepare for the banquet. They had been given another opportunity to make it in their trade. They dared not mess things up. After the call, each one suddenly dropped at different stops. First, it was the commander in chief, and then the second in command. The last one appeared to be a tomboy. She had on a face cap, a baggy shirt and jeans. From the uncovered parts, you could see her golden tinted hair. She would have passed for their bodyguard. 

Her phone rings a few minutes before her stop. She picks and says: “I dey tell you say show dey this night you dey say make I come house con chop beans. Abeg who no like beta thing! No dull o, I get runz to cover. You know say I dey whether na man or woman. For my side we no dey discriminate. Make we sha happy las las na im be the goal. We go dey see tomorrow...

At this point, the driver pressed on his breaks as if there was a deer in front of him. Before he gained consciousness, the tomboy blasted him: “ driver how your own be na? You hear say show dey for me this night and na now you wan plan to kill pesin. Just drop me for that junction there before you carry out your mission. This life na we own and we must chop am!!! She drops…

The coast was finally clear. The men came alive. One asked if the ladies had mothers. Another added that he doubted and that he didn’t blame them. If only he had his car they would not have smeared his ride back home. He wished the Coronavirus would visit them at their hangout that night. The driver replied that they were the Coronavirus we should be worried about for they would be here very long infecting others until the whole society would have lost their worth. He shook his head,  announced the last stop and turned up the radio. 

Before I dropped, the driver was on the phone. It sounded like he was speaking with his daughter. I heard him asking in Yoruba the meaning of Marlians…


A Shared Experience
Don't Forget to Be Honest!

Subscribe for more...and share as well.