EMMAWAD

Posts

MAKEOVER

When she realized her hair was gone, the barber had increased the volume of his radio and India Arie’s ‘I am not my hair’ filled the room. ‘If I can manage the situation like a professional, my construction contract with her father will hold tomorrow,’ I thought. I breathe in and out, a logic that never works for me, but I do it anyway. I rehearse my words, changing each sound to a softer version of the previous one - aligning my looks to the words so that my eyes become half closed and there is a faint smile on my face. I wait for the explosion. All the while, the barber is busy touching what is left on her head with his clipper. He says it is the final addition and calls it the moon look. He fumbles with the chair, turning Stella from left to right like a child’s play. The large mirror in front of us escalates the mishap and the fumes on my girlfriend’s face seem to be burning the white walls. It was meant to be a makeover since her 25 th birthday was the next day. Now it...

IF HAIRS COULD TALK

“You know, I get nervous by the sight of unkempt hair” “And why’s that?” “Well, it makes me imagine the worst of the man or woman in question.” “But you can’t always have clean cut or well-made hair. It’s hard work and who has time for such beauty strife. Or why do you think Beyonce sang that beauty hurts?” “I’m not talking about beauty. Rather I mean responsibility. Bad hair must surely birth a bad day. Look, I hate seeing my wife without her hair done or at least covered. I blame it on Medusa. Should have never seen that movie, T he Clash of the Titans .” “Hahaha, that’s just cracking! Now you blame your sick theory on a movie? Buddy, your wife must be tolerating a whole lot of shit from you. Cut her some slack and leave her hair alone. If you continue shaving yours all the time, you’d be bald before you’re even 40, man.” I’ve been thinking. A thousand tongues there would be if our hairs could talk. Imagine, a million heads would have a zillion tongues and more! The...

WHEN WE ARE OLD

I heard them laughing, pointing at different buildings at each bus stop. Some were tall, old, and short buildings but they had something in common. They were whitewashed. The daughter talked more than her mother. She even laughed out loud sometimes as if they were the only passengers onboard. They occupied the first two seats on the deck of the bus and could see the clouds moving slowly even better than the driver. The daughter pointed to a small house and said to her mother: “Ma, do you remember Auntie Debbie? She used to live in a tiny house just like that. Ha-ha! It was too small to even accommodate our cat when I was 7, remember?” “Yes, I remember darling. But you’re all grown up, tired of kitty. She is all mine now.” They both smiled and then the daughter mumbled something, and it turned into a wild laugh, as if something went awry in their heads. My mother will not laugh with me like this. Never! I thought. In fact, I dared not laugh at anyone’s house - big or small. ...

Obalende

Bridges fly over this town like birds. You see workers – white collar, blue, brown, purple – walking like the earth would collapse under their feet whatever time it was of the day. Obalende wakes up to the honks from private and public vehicles with passengers who are in a haste to meet up with work schedules. The yellow public buses make passers-by sneeze from black fumes, cursing the air at the slamming of their brakes. Although they are scrappy in nature, they serve us who can only afford a single meal per day. Don't throw a stone here; it just might meet one of your own. Obalende welcomes you with the smell of food varieties from different local shops to the jamming of fuji music, to the preachers of eternal life, to the blaring of advertisements through loudspeakers well positioned on the ground. Those vendors, they sell drugs for multi-purpose functions. You will hear them marketing: “Have you tried Egba Ijebu ? This drug can cure your stomach aches, your headaches, yo...

ARE YOU QUALIFIED?

"I write to notify you that I will no longer try to convince you that I am good enough to be an employed citizen of and in this country. How many times do I have to state that I have my PVC, NIMC, International Passport, Driver’s Licence, Birth Certificate, LASRRA, NEPA/PHCN bill (even though I am still unemployed I pay my tax), Waste Management bill, Water bill, and so on?” "Do you not know I have been to primary school, secondary school, and university? Do you not know I have a masters degree plus a PHD? Add to the fact that I never failed any subject or course in the four walls of all the schools I have attended. You can take that to the bank!" "You are all making too much noise. Say I take all your claims to the bank surely, I will not cash out. My great grandfather was a farmer, and so was my grandfather. My father died farming and now I have inherited the family heirloom. I am sure my son will also take up this inheritance. With all the experiences we garnered...

WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS

In those days, when it rained we would stay by the window and watch how the trees danced to the beats of the wind, the singing of raindrops and thunder. The lighter the music, the closer our legs would get to the door post, quietly watching the eyes of our mother; and waiting for an approval. When she wiggled her legs, it was a negative signal. But when she praised the beautiful works of God in the rainy moment, it was a positive sign. Note, there was no going outside when it rained in the night. That was why Joseph composed the song: Rain visit us when the sun is not old Rain sing for us when the moon is not young So that mother will open the door for us to play with you So that papa will come home dry and happy. Rain visit us as we sing to you. Rain oh rain oh rain. That particular day, the rain was deaf to our singing, or calling and yelling. We became frustrated because the sun was kissing the lines of the sea, workers were returning home while livestock owners were gathering their...